Even when I'm down, I'm not out

This whole week I have been home from work, with migraines, headaches, sinus troubles and now a cold. I really hate riding on the train listening to people coughing and sneezing and blowing their noses... keep it at home asshole! So, what have I done this week? Well let me first say, that the day Delainey started school I rejoiced in the fact that any day from now on, if I was home sick from work, I would have the entire house to MYSELF all day! (as long as it was a Monday/Wednesday/every other Friday) This week, I've had all three days!! Yay me! Everyone is happy when Mummy is home. We get to have dinner by 6pm. I bake treats for them during the day. I bought them a movie to watch when they got home from school one day and we all snuggled on the couch and watched it. I cleaned their rooms. All the laundry is done. It may sound cray cray, but I feel like I've had a nice relaxing week. Despite feeling like I've been hit by a train, snotty tissues all over the place, I also LOOK like I've been hit by a train. But also, last weekend, before I got hit by the plague, Delainey went to a birthday party on Saturday. And she looked ADORABLE!

On Saturday night I took Ashton and Delainey to a night time corn maze! We had a blast. Keenan and Holden were to chicken to come. Keenan has some kind of fear of corn fields. It comes from his childhood. Growing up across the street from a corn field, he was running through it one day, then all of a sudden came face to face with a scarecrow holding a persons head in one hand and a big 'ol pair of rusty shears in the other hand. Shit, who wouldn't be scared of THAT!!! That would be scary right? But no, actually he came face to face with a cow... so now he is scared of corn mazes/fields. On Sunday we went and picked out our pumpkins, the pumpkins at the patch we went to were all HUGE. Then the kids dug up some carrots which they have been devouring all week!

Yesterday our house was covered in ladybugs,
 and it looks like they are still out there today.

Best Buds!

So, I've spent a lot of time in my pyjamas, a day or two of not showering (not consecutive) spent lots of quality time with my kids, taken care of myself, spent some time on the couch doing nothing for a few hours at a time. It's been kinda nice. Despite the being sick part. Each day I was secretly hoping to sneak off to yoga... But each morning I woke up feeling like crap, so that didn't happen! Hopefully next week. 

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Is it a rock? Or is it a potato? Let's see if it will hurt
when I throw it on your foot.
(that's me, not sure how old.... my Mum can tell you)
Aren't I CUTE!

My earliest memory from my childhood, of what I wanted to be when I grew up was, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I remember doing drawings of clothes I wanted to make, then actually attempting some of them out of scraps of fabric I found in my Mums sewing stash. This probably lasted a summer… a year at the most. When I got older I wanted to be a hairdresser. This one lasted for years and still exists. When I was a kid I was doing perms and haircuts on most of my friends and even on some of the parents in my street. I would braid my girlfriend’s hair in the morning at school. I even attended a technical college course. That was a whole different lifetime ago. After that I wanted to do drug counseling. I figured the experience I had with the subject matter, I would be pretty good at it. I also wanted to be an interior designer. I was re arranging my room at least once a month! I remember being obsessed with wanting to paint my room ‘bubblegum green’, not teal or aqua, it was ‘bubblegum green’. I ended up with a very pink room. Which was weird, because I was kind of a tom boy. To this day though, I still cut hair. One of my friends prefers me doing her hair over going to a trained person. I'm sure a FREE haircut is a bonus, but I usually do a better job! It's really hard for me to have other people cut my kids hair. Holden is the only one that's had a haircut in a salon. 

I don’t know if either of my parents had any particular aspirations for me. I don’t know if they ever thought “Nichole would be a really good teacher” or “Nichole is really good with babies, she should go into pediatric nursing”. After finishing high school, or even during, there was never any talk about going onto to further education anywhere. It was like it was never an option. Actually, I Ieft high school a few months into the 11^th grade to go to that technical college to do the hairdressing introduction course. I should have stayed in school and finished year 12. Regret that choice. Those last years of school for me were a very tumultuous time in my life. I wasn’t living at home.

Now I’m all grown up and I have no idea what I want to be or do. I like to experience a little bit of everything. I think that’s the Sagittarius in me.  The thing is, I don’t have the time or the money to go to school to get a college degree anymore. But I'm doing OK for myself without it.

In America, most parents are thinking about their kids’ college education before they are even born. Without any consideration as to what the kid might want to do with his/her life. And then there’s my kids. Based on what I know about my kids, Holden is going to go into some kind of computer science field and make bucket loads of money. Ashton is going to play baseball for the national league. Delainey is going to be some kind of visual artist. Holden and Ashton will supplement her income as she will be a struggling artist. I don’t know if they know what they want to be when they grow up, but I know from their little personalities what they are capable of (right now anyway). Keenan and I talk about the potential each one of them has. Each one of them is so different from the other. Their personality traits are so easy to recognize. Of course they can be and do what ever they want to do. But they have to listen to my suggestions ;o)

We all have hopes and dreams for our kids to be happy and successful when they grow up. One thing I can do to help them realize their potential is to nurture and encourage them. Guide them, but not control them. Be their center. Make sure they know that where ever they go in the world, they will be able to find their way back to me and that I am behind them every step of the way. I will make sure they know that we have high expectations for them, and if they don’t reach their potential they will be reminded of what miserable failures they are. I’M KIDDING. I’d be happy if they wanted to travel the world and not go to college at all. It’s their choice. Their decision.

I know if I could… I would…

Balance

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding. Every day is a struggle these days, trying to raise your kids in a politically correct world. While guiding them to be strong and assertive and independent, but kind and compassionate and generous at the same time. It’s all about balance. I think that is my favorite word, balance. I love its meaning, ‘A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.’ and ‘mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc’ and one more ‘the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other’.

My kids are so funny and it’s really hard to not laugh at them/with them when they are telling fart and poop jokes, or when Ashton says “hey, we never got to see those Google pictures of what diseases you’ll get if you don’t wipe your butt properly” (I bet you just laughed) Or how EVERY time Delainey needs to use the potty she announces it to everyone (she’s SUCH a girl… why do we do that? I’m surprised she doesn't ask me if I want to go with her. I hope she doesn't do that at school!) or how Holden …… Anyway, it’s really hard to balance out the laughing at/with them, with teaching them acceptable ways to act and behave beyond the safety of our front door without changing who they are, at the very core of their being. My kids are good kids, they are kind, and caring and sympathetic. Sometimes they just need to be better listeners. And so do we. There’s the balance. They’re not perfect, and neither are we.

I watched a yYouTube video the other day about a mother wearing a GoPro camera attached to her head. It was a ‘day in the life of’ (which really only consisted of the time it took Mum getting out of bed and getting the kid off to school) The point of the video was to show us all the mean things her daughter says to her. I’m sorry, but that shit aint ok. It’s not funny. Why does she think it’s ok for her daughter to talk to her like that? She doesn’t do anything about it. In fact the only voice you hear in the video is the kids. The mother never says a word. She just walks around the house, rolling her eyes and smacking her lips. This kid must get away with murder. It kind of made me a little mad. Like, does she not have any self-respect? Does she let other people walk all over her? Does she think “oh, she’s so cute. She’s just being funny, that’s just how she is”. Makes me wonder if she actually pays attention to her. I’m pretty sure the balance in that house is not on a level scale. I’m assuming too much. Don’t sue me.

If my kids ever disrespect me, or do or say something that could hurt my feelings (if I were 30 years younger) they damn well know about it. They will learn that it’s not ok to say something mean to someone. They will learn that when someone is talking to them they damn well better listen. And how they learn is by me and their father parenting them! When my kids are really pissing me off, like I’m at my breaking point, and they just aren’t getting it… I break out the big guns. I shed some tears and tell them I’m done. I show them my feelings. That’s when they get it. Everybody stops what they are doing. They all apologize and look very sullen, I get lots of hugs and heads buried in my neck and we talk about the who’s, what’s, when’s, and why’s to help them understand. Kids need boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them. And it’s our job to make sure they grow up to be balanced, productive, caring, enthusiastic, funny, members of society. It’s our job, which means you are the boss. Don’t be scared to assert some control and guidance, you won’t break their little spirits.

Or they could be hermits and never leave the house, I don’t care. It’s their life. J Actually, I do care. I care a lot. Probably too much. Someone used to say to me “why do you care?” and I would say to myself, because if I don’t care, who fucking will? That’s a whole ‘nother discussion.

10 questions

   

10 things you find yourself asking Google, when you have kids, that you wish you never had the need to ask, but which will be saved in your browsing history forever (some are for the purpose of scaring the shit out of your kids, the others just scare the shit out of you)
1.      What happens if you don’t wipe your butt properly? (we were too afraid to hit the search button so we never actually found out)
2.      What happens in a car accident and you don’t wear a seat belt?
3.      What do pinworms look like?
4.      Why is there so much blood pouring from my childs nose?
5.      Why does my kid have such bad B.O.?
6.      X-rays of kids teeth
7.      How to get rid of head lice
8.      Is a penny made in 1978 toxic to swallow?
9.      … ok so I could only come up with 8
Ok, so once you’ve searched the web for these answers, then you do an image search… OH THE HORROR!!!!