Balance

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding. Every day is a struggle these days, trying to raise your kids in a politically correct world. While guiding them to be strong and assertive and independent, but kind and compassionate and generous at the same time. It’s all about balance. I think that is my favorite word, balance. I love its meaning, ‘A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.’ and ‘mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc’ and one more ‘the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other’.

My kids are so funny and it’s really hard to not laugh at them/with them when they are telling fart and poop jokes, or when Ashton says “hey, we never got to see those Google pictures of what diseases you’ll get if you don’t wipe your butt properly” (I bet you just laughed) Or how EVERY time Delainey needs to use the potty she announces it to everyone (she’s SUCH a girl… why do we do that? I’m surprised she doesn't ask me if I want to go with her. I hope she doesn't do that at school!) or how Holden …… Anyway, it’s really hard to balance out the laughing at/with them, with teaching them acceptable ways to act and behave beyond the safety of our front door without changing who they are, at the very core of their being. My kids are good kids, they are kind, and caring and sympathetic. Sometimes they just need to be better listeners. And so do we. There’s the balance. They’re not perfect, and neither are we.

I watched a yYouTube video the other day about a mother wearing a GoPro camera attached to her head. It was a ‘day in the life of’ (which really only consisted of the time it took Mum getting out of bed and getting the kid off to school) The point of the video was to show us all the mean things her daughter says to her. I’m sorry, but that shit aint ok. It’s not funny. Why does she think it’s ok for her daughter to talk to her like that? She doesn’t do anything about it. In fact the only voice you hear in the video is the kids. The mother never says a word. She just walks around the house, rolling her eyes and smacking her lips. This kid must get away with murder. It kind of made me a little mad. Like, does she not have any self-respect? Does she let other people walk all over her? Does she think “oh, she’s so cute. She’s just being funny, that’s just how she is”. Makes me wonder if she actually pays attention to her. I’m pretty sure the balance in that house is not on a level scale. I’m assuming too much. Don’t sue me.

If my kids ever disrespect me, or do or say something that could hurt my feelings (if I were 30 years younger) they damn well know about it. They will learn that it’s not ok to say something mean to someone. They will learn that when someone is talking to them they damn well better listen. And how they learn is by me and their father parenting them! When my kids are really pissing me off, like I’m at my breaking point, and they just aren’t getting it… I break out the big guns. I shed some tears and tell them I’m done. I show them my feelings. That’s when they get it. Everybody stops what they are doing. They all apologize and look very sullen, I get lots of hugs and heads buried in my neck and we talk about the who’s, what’s, when’s, and why’s to help them understand. Kids need boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them. And it’s our job to make sure they grow up to be balanced, productive, caring, enthusiastic, funny, members of society. It’s our job, which means you are the boss. Don’t be scared to assert some control and guidance, you won’t break their little spirits.

Or they could be hermits and never leave the house, I don’t care. It’s their life. J Actually, I do care. I care a lot. Probably too much. Someone used to say to me “why do you care?” and I would say to myself, because if I don’t care, who fucking will? That’s a whole ‘nother discussion.